The New Ray

So long, thanks for fish, etc, bye for now

2006-02-17T20:05:56Z

If you haven't figured it out yet, this journal's been dead for a while. It's probably going to stay that way. However, I'm working on a new comics-related blog called WhyILoveComics.com. When it's live, I'll come back here and relink.

If you're interested in saying hi, drop me a line at my email thingy (ray at raycornwall dot com). If not, bye.

I even removed the block against anon comments for that one person who always said hi that way. Wish I knew who it was.

Here...go laugh at this while you watch New Orleans in horror...

2005-09-02T00:16:04Z

Squirrel has more sense than we do...

Dear God, are those people in Radiohead geniuses...

2005-06-15T16:22:56Z

Paranoid Android

Please could you stop the noise, I'm trying to get some rest
From all the unborn chicken voices in my head
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)

When I am king, you will be first against the wall
With your opinion which is of no consequence at all
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but no android)
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but no android)

Ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Kicking and squealing gucci little piggy
You don't remember
You don't remember
Why don't you remember my name?
Off with his head, man
Off with his head, man
Why don't you remember my name?
I guess he does....

Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me

That's it, sir
You're leaving
The crackle of pigskin
The dust and the screaming
The yuppies networking
The panic, the vomit
The panic, the vomit
God loves his children, God loves his children, yeah!

Absolutely beautiful

2005-05-22T00:33:21Z

A stunning bit of web animation.

Pet the cat

2005-05-11T21:56:47Z

So I'm a nerd...

2005-04-28T18:12:47Z

From my buddy Seraphina

2005-04-15T14:02:53Z

You scored as Marv.

</td>

Marv

55%

Miho

40%

That Yellow Bastard

35%

Manute

35%

Dwight

30%

Jackie Boy

25%

Goldie

25%

Gail

25%

Hartigan

20%

Becky

20%

Kevin

20%

Shelley

20%

Lucielle

10%

Nancy

What Sin City Character are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Thanks to Glenn for this...

2005-04-14T19:10:05Z

ENFP - The Champion
You scored 100% I to E, 5% N to S, 28% F to T, and 57% J to P!

Your type is known as the Champion type, which is part of the larger
group called idealists. Nothing occurs that does not have some deep and
ethical significance in your eyes. You see life as an exciting drama.
You are very charismatic, yet tend to be too harsh on yourself for not
being as genuine as you think you should be. 3% of the population
shares your type.

As a romantic partner, you need to talk about what is going on in your
life. You are a strong supporter for your partner's efforts to grow and
change and be happy. You need to feel that same support from your
partner. Expressive, optimistic, and curious, you are eager to enjoy
new experiences with your partner, whom you wish to be your confidant
and soul mate, as well as play mate. You are uncomfortable sharing
negative emotion, though, and tend to withdraw from confrontation and
process your feelings privately. You feel most loved when your partner
appreciates your creativity, accepts your uniqueness, and sees you as
the compassionate person you are. You need to hear your partner tell
you how much you mean to them and would love if they did thoughtful
spontaneous things to demonstrate it.

Your group summary: idealists (NF)

Your type summary: ENFP

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on I to E
You scored higher than 2% on N to S
You scored higher than 13% on F to T
You scored higher than 50% on J to P

Link: The LONG Scientific Personality Test written by unpretentious2 on Ok Cupid

Thank you, Glenn

2005-04-05T20:34:28Z

Oh my. OH MY.

(Warning- you need Windows Media Thingy to listen. Apologies to the mac nerds. You should buy a PC just to hear this actual OnStar call.)

http://www.sumama.com/misc/911_tape.wma

You know, for all I know, it's not a real OnStar call- it's a fake. But damn, it be funny.

Mix disc for my friends

2005-03-19T22:22:51Z

Every year, I make a mix disc for the Caitlin Kiernan board. This year, I'm going to hsare it with anyone who reads this journal. Since that's probably no one, I think I'm safe from the RIAA. Email me for the link at wishlish@fastmail.fm, and I'll send you the link in a few hours, I promise.

The mix is mostly live material from artists like Joe Jackson, Prince, Bill Hicks, Duke Ellington, along with a mashed Beatles song, a rare R&B cut from a band called Kool Blues that is one of the coolest old R&B songs ever, and a cut from the Kleptones describing just how ridiculous the current state of the RIAA is.

I have to finish the album art and write-up for the album, but the music is there, and that's the important stuff, isn't it?

God Bless The Faces

2005-03-17T20:29:23Z

"Silicone Grown"
Wait a minute honey
I don’t think the joke’s too funny
I stayed up all night
Checking out the doctor’s guide

Wait a minute honey
Stop pretending you’re a bunny
Well I might’ve guessed
You been to see a specialist.

I remember you said
That we gotta keep abreast of time
But obviously you don’t know where to draw the line
Don’t try and tell me it’s a-what you been eating
Since when have you been 44 around the (get on with the song)

At the moulin rouge tell you baby we could knock ’em dead
Just sign right here all I need is 10%.
Now you make me feel like a pimp in the white house
For a senator’s daughter you’re stealing all the headline news

Oh shake me, shake me, shake me up all night long
We all need a laugh and I guess you’re just the one
You got more front than the hague museum
Oh home grown silicone you really got the best of me

WHAM! (without George Michael)

2005-03-13T23:22:29Z

CL and I were rear-ended today. Thank God for good painkillers.

wishlish @ 2005-03-13T02:04:00

2005-03-13T07:04:46Z

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/223809

Y'know, if this had been the real version of "Buzz" Bunny, I'd watch it. Incredibly funny and filthy.

It's The Rocky Horror Muppet Show!

2005-03-01T20:46:29Z

http://esp.realcities.com/a/hBCJL86APnpi4APtV1IAQEL8u.APnpi4Wy/gmsv999

I can't make this up.

(Link courtesy Silicon Valley Daily)

Warren Ellis is drunk tonight

2005-02-27T02:21:05Z

This email was sent to the Bad Signal mailing list (and normally I don't post e-mails, but since this an email sent to thousands of people, it's hardly private correspondence):

"There's a band on MySpace called ONE ARMED ANAL.

"I felt it was important to share this with you.

"As you can probably tell, I am home alone for the
next two days, and therefore drinking.

"I have a lot of whisky. Don't you wish you had a
lot of whisky? I have a lot of whisky. You could
have had a lot of whisky. But you didn't like it
when I turned up at your house naked. You should
have asked for whisky. But you threw up. And
so I shat in your socks. And kept all the whisky."

Super Friends meet Office Space

2005-02-25T18:54:14Z

http://www.idiotwork.com/pages/tps.html

Aquaman doing the O face is brilliant.

Well...I guess so...

2005-02-25T17:05:27Z

You scored as Love Machine Cat. Look out! The love machine is on the loose. You might want to take off a night of permiscuity and go get your junk checked out. Nothing sadder than a cat with herpes.

</td>

Love Machine Cat

75%

Derranged Cat

67%

Couch Potato Cat

58%

Pissed at the World Cat

42%

Ninja Cat

33%

Nerd Cat

Drunk Cat

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

From Joe Jackson's Night Music

2005-02-23T21:25:21Z

The Man Who Wrote Danny Boy

It happened one night
At three in the morning
The devil appeared in my studio room
And he said I'm your pal
And I'll make you a deal
Blow away your struggle
And I'll take your soul for a toy

After rubbing my eyes
I looked all around me
At the half-finished drivel I'd worked on for days
And I told him my dream
Was to live for all time
In some perfect refrain
Like the man who wrote Danny Boy

And I said if you're real, then I'll ask you a question
While most of us turn into ashes or dust
Just you and that other guy go on forever
But who writes the history
And who do I trust?

He gave me a wink
And he said it was funny
How mortals would pour all their blood, sweat and tears
Onto tape, onto paper
Or into the air
To be lost and forgotten
Outside of his kind employ

Then I thought I could hear a great sound in the distance
Of whiskey-soaked singing
And laughter and cheers
And they're saying, that song could bring tears to a glass eye
So pass me the papers, I'll sign them in blood
And the smell of the brimstone was turned into greasepaint
And the roar of the crowd like the furies of hell
And I hear the applause and I hear the bells ringing
And the sound of a woman's voice from the next room

Saying come to me now
Come lay down beside me
Whatever you're doing you're too gone to see
You can't hold onto shadows, no more than to years
So be glad for the pleasures
We're young enough to enjoy

So maybe I'm drunk
Or maybe a liar
Or maybe we're all living inside a dream
You can say what you like
When I'm gone, then you'll see
I'll be down in the dark
Down underground
With Shakespeare and Bach
And the man who wrote Danny Boy

my back's in a lot of pain

2005-02-21T17:23:03Z

my kingdom for some good painkillers...

Mix disc

2005-02-20T01:19:42Z

I'm putting together a mix disc for Caitlin Kiernan's group. Anyone interested in a copy should contact me through e-mail, and I'll give you a link for downloading everything when ready. I'm going to use my Filecloud account for this, testing their friends-only link.

Memo to self:

2005-02-20T01:17:55Z

Do not allow yourself to die the death of a thousand cuts.

That is all.

Oh. My. God.

2005-02-19T04:17:06Z

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/615/

Poem for Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T15:56:32Z

Sue me, I love this poem...

"I Knew A Woman" by Theodore Roethke

I knew a woman, lovely in her bones,
When small birds sighed, she would sigh back at them;
Ah, when she moved, she moved more ways than one:
The shapes a bright container can contain!
Of her choice virtues only gods should speak,
Or English poets who grew up on Greek
(I'd have them sing in chorus, cheek to cheek.)

How well her wishes went! She stroked my chin,
She taught me Turn, and Counter-turn, and stand;
She taught me Touch, that undulant white skin:
I nibbled meekly from her proffered hand;
She was the sickle; I, poor I, the rake,
Coming behind her for her pretty sake
(But what prodigious mowing did we make.)

Love likes a gander, and adores a goose:
Her full lips pursed, the errant note to seize;
She played it quick, she played it light and loose;
My eyes, they dazzled at her flowing knees;
Her several parts could keep a pure repose,
Or one hip quiver with a mobile nose
(She moved in circles, and those circles moved.)

Let seed be grass, and grass turn into hay:
I'm martyr to a motion not my own;
What's freedom for? To know eternity.
I swear she cast a shadow white as stone.
But who would count eternity in days?
These old bones live to learn her wanton ways:
(I measure time by how a body sways.)

A joke while I'm waiting for the new Lewis Black album

2005-02-11T16:00:30Z

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the 
Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it 
is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows 
if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me 
to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, 
please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father 
has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It is I, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up 
and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman 
of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons 
Richard G. Lugar to the White House and says, "Senator Lugar, I wonder 
if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this 
child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Lugar hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get 
back to you?" Bush agrees, and Lugar leaves. He immediately calls a 
meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the 
question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. 
Finally, in desperation, Lugar calls Condoleezza Rice at the State 
Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a 
child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother 
or your sister. Who is it?" Rice answers immediately, "It is I, of 
course, you fool."

Much relieved, Lugar rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I 
know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Condoleezza Rice!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair!"

More songs lyrics- Robbie Williams "Let Me Entertain You"

2005-02-11T15:59:27Z

Hell is gone and heaven's here
There's nothing left for you to fear
Shake your ass come over here
Now scream
I'm a burning effigy
Of everything I used to be
You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you
Let me entertain you

Life's too short for you to die
So grab yourself an alibi
Heaven knows your mother lied
Mon cher
Separate your right from wrongs
Come and sing a different song
The kettle's on so don't be long
Mon cher

So come on let me entertain you
Let me entertain you

Look me up in the yellow pages
I will be your rock of ages
Your see through fads and your crazy phases yeah
Little Bo Peep has lost his sheep
He popped a pill and fell asleep
The dew is wet but the grass is sweet my dear

Your mind gets burned
With the habits you've learned
But we're the generation that's got to be heard
You're tired of your teachers and your school's a drag
You're not going to end up like your mum and dad

So come on let me entertain you
Let me entertain you
Let me entertain you

He may be good he may be outta sight
But he can't be here so come around tonight
Here is the place where the feeling grows
You gotta get high before you taste the lows
So come on

Let me entertain you
Let me entertain you (entertain you)
So come on let me entertain you
Let me entertain you (entertain you)

Come on, come on, come on, come on
(Come on, come on, come on, come on)